I am with Liz on this. "He Is Just A Beautiful Person"...

I have been amazed over the years by what people will do to each other, with complete disregard for each other, solely, for the purpose of having something to talk about.

I do not have heroes in my life of celebrity stature. People are people. Some prove themselves extraordinary.
And seemingly ordinary people can act in such a way that makes them truly extraordinary.

I am not afraid to look deep.
Because that is most often where the truth rests.
Within...

I did not appreciate being expected to ascertain, whether or not, a man who had devoted his life and a fair portion of his fortune to the delivery of a message. was guilty of the foul accusations brought against him by others.
The expectation was implied when the filth was made public.

I did not appreciate another reminder of what people are willing to do to each other in the pursuit of having something to talk about.
And perhaps, monetary reward.

I appreciated even less, the decline forced upon a messenger.

In The Beginning... And in the End...

People often confuse this as it applies to people. Lots of things can and do happen in life to cause changes in people.

Good and Bad...

What it really boils down to is Who do you really want to be? Not What. Who.
Because the reality is it is impossible to be anyone or anything other than what you were intended to be.

Oh you can try. But it is a lot like wearing someone else's shoes if they are custom made.
The fit is never going to be quite right.
Close maybe. But not right for you.
But what does that really matter? Because those are not your shoes.

I think we have all heard someone say, "Boy, I sure wish I was Bill Gates". Well then Who would Bill Gates be?
See how it starts?
Then there is wishing you had his money. But it is his money.

The point is simply to be the best you that you can be. And because you are you that is the prize in itself.
Because no one else fits exactly into your custom made shoes the way you do either.

The Jones Syndrome has caused so many people to become unhappy with so much that they weren't unhappy with until someone else told them they should be.

It's kind of like being a small child. You know what you look like and you know your name.
And that is good enough. Fabulous actually.
Until someone comes along and tells you you are not.
And then, the doubt begins.

It has happened to everyone at some point or another. What I truly don't understand is why we allow it as adults.
And perpetuate it. Even on our own children.
That is really fucked up.

Wish we could change that. I am going to start right away. Right now in fact.
I am sorry and truly apologize to anyone and everyone I have ever through word or deed caused to doubt themselves.
That is a terrible thing to do to another. Especially when you know how it feels.
I might do it again.
But I won't do it in ignorance. And I will not do it for enjoyment or sport.
And I will work even harder to never do it to make myself feel better at anothers expense.
Angry words suck... And they can be a real bitch.
And they can change lives in ways that were never intended. And sometimes have exactly the effect that they were planned to have.

Effective communicating is such a chore. Why can't people just say what they mean?
Ask for what they need?
And speak to each other the way they want to be spoken to?
Because we are not there yet.

But I am going to redouble my efforts. On all fronts.

ODE TO THE TINFOIL HAT BRIGADE...And just because HP can use a laugh...

"Not even a sledgehammer". Still chuckling over that. Blown by the gentle and wonderful words of two other ladies.
And HP always try to remember that it is the sledgehammer calling for kindness as a means to peace.lol
How did we do it? How did we become one of the most solid families to be found anywhere on the internet?
We FOUGHT for it that's how!!! Any and all comers, each other, and ourselves.
Man are we good or what!?!
The ticket to play cost all. And I can honestly say, it was worth the price for the privilege of sharing the journey in company like this.
YEEEEAAA-AAAAHHH!!!
Take that Ole Pointy Pants...

It is the little things that are important...

I was doing some cleaning today. Laundry, household catch up, disinfecting. etc. My son just happened to come along while I was cleaning the stainless steel kitchen sink.
Now for those of you who have a stainless steel sink and really hard water you know what a chore this can be.
My son says, "Wow...Baking soda...Armor Hammer!!! Now That's What I Call Home Care!!!".
Good thing he was busy while I was using the Sno-Bowl to get the majority of the rust and calcification off.
Or, he might have thought I was cheating.

Our life removed from all the economic and social pressures of today is really very simple.
We don't watch tv. We don't have any of those video game players. If, we eat out, it is off the dollar menu.
We do not have a grand home. Or, drive a fancy car. We have suitable clothing. And we have food. For everyone and everything that resides here.
We are blessed in our true friends. And we respect the value of that.
We do what we can when we can to help others. And we are learning daily to accept our limitations, as well as, expand our abilities to not be limited.

We very firmly believe, that without Jesus and his sacrifice on our behalf, nothing we would ever do would matter very much.
Life in and of itself is not so very hard. Trying to navigate in a World of so many unbelievers can sometimes make it seem so.
We don't live like the Rockefeller's. But neither, was that our goal.
And we have complete faith that whatever happens today God will be with us every step of the way. And tomorrow. And so on.
Where we cannot make a way? He can. And He will.

Our belief does not define us as not having a sense of humor. In fact, the opposite holds true.
We do not qualify as Bible thumpers. Mostly because it has been too polluted by the words and intents/agendas of others.
I have been known on occasion to make creative use of the language. Does that make me less christian in my beliefs?
I don't think so.
I just wanted to take a minute to clarify. Because it has never been my intent to confuse those who are truly searching.
Just the enemy...

Hope this helped...

Mary Mary Quite Contrary...How Does Your Garden Grow???

Quite well it would appear. Thank you very much... And thus far all in a row. So there.
Yeah...HA!

What a crazy week. Where have you people been all my life?*giggles helplessly*
No, seriously?

I am a very impatient girl. I have been waiting a very long time after all. And that bump on my head still has me a bit confused from time to time.
But, the Good News is?
I am beginning to remember. Piss me off and I may begin to forget. And you will never know if I really did. Or, if during the course of being pissed off I decided tit for tat wasn't such a bad game.

Anyone confused yet? Good... It is your turn to be. And now you know how I feel.
Quite often.
I am still thoroughly torqued that I had to expose so much to get any answers at all.
Does help in the identifying process though.

So, what happens next? While away the days until something happens? Just piddle all over ourselves til then?
Jolly.
Grand really... As has been pointed out "nobody" beats me in a pissing contest. I had excellent teachers.
*polishes claws on shirt front*

So much for peace. The strength I already have. Even if, I do not always protect it accordingly.

But I did re-remember something very important. And I am good with that. Makes all the confusion non-relevant.
If, some of you haven't figured it out already? Wow...are you going to be mad or what?
Evolution can be a real bitch. Coming into your own? Remains to be seen.

Fern? Would this be the part where it is okay for me to say, "Bring It!!!"? Because, even if, I am not completely ready? All will be revealed in it's own time.
Right? Right...

Contrary much? ME? Not in the beginning. It was an evolutionary experience.

While I do not believe in Darwinism. I do believe in mans and womans ability to fulfill their individual Destiny...

I needed to say that. I have seen some very strange stuff in my life. And maybe, I am just designed to see things differently.
But no. I disregard Darwin's findings. It is as simple for me as, had we evolved from primates, we would then be the only primates. Or, are the remaining primates going to evolve as well? When?

Faith is something that comes from within. It is built, tried, and tested. Sometimes becoming damaged. And sometimes seeming shattered beyond repair.
Hope and foolish hopes are often confused with Faith.

I never bought the constraints placed on Faith by religion. Religion as we know it is mostly manmade.
And man is often a faulty practitioner to hand the care of your most precious self to.
The body houses the treasure. The treasure is the Spirit.

I have lots of thoughts. About lots of things. I firmly believe Joy should never be restrained. Or, captive. I think to do so diminishes the Spirit.

Do I believe every word in the Bible or any other religious tool? No. Again, it has been tampered with by man.

The truth is the truth. And not every ones truth is the same as the truth of 7 others. And it can all become very unpalatable when it is forced. And if, it is the truth? It will make itself clear.

There was a man who wrote a song. After becoming familiar with truth. I don't believe he was thanking Darwin for his presented possible explanation of the existence of man.
I believe he was thanking another for bringing his mustard seed of faith to an amazing harvest of truth.

And I have never believed that man is the sole inhabitor of The Universe. And based on my experience of man? I want something much bigger to be protecting me. The presumption of intelligent life forms does nothing to assure me of a higher level of kindness.

We all have an inner voice. We all have some ability to ascertain truth. And I am all good with a person leading with their truth. When that truth is voiced from within.

Faith is not for the faint of heart. And yet, they need it most. Faith is not fashionable, trendy, or buyable.
And by contrast it will be the most expensive gift you ever receive.
Based on that alone, I would like to caution that you not misspend or abuse it unnecessarily.

The good news is, if you do? It may always be rebuilt.

The Power of Words. And The Evolution of Language?

Everyone knows that there is power in words. Languages and use of have historically been used,and proven capable of, defining much about the user.

Location. Age. Class. Education. Intelligence. And predisposition. To name a few.

I would dearly love to know one thing at this point. Do those who use profanity to vulgar excess, and pejorative terms, racial and religious slanders, and slang, really believe it gives the impression of a higher intelligence, class, and education?

I am guilty. I can sling trash with the best of them. And I have yet to find myself at a loss for words in a shitfest.
There are so many after all.

And sometimes, swear words seem to fill the gap so nicely. And really make the point.

Why is it so hard to find words of praise or encouragement? Why is that often the last words we seek?

And why is it so hard to apologize? Sincerely.

I have watched this in an area near and dear to my heart. Horses. Everything about horses.
And if you know horses? I am willing to bet you have an above average collection of interesting words.

I have lived 42 years without ever hearing the terms "asshat" or "ass clown". Say them really fast with some sort of accent? Interesting.
Still do not know what they are meant to mean.
Oh, in context, I have a clue. But, no offense, these are dumb words.

Snark is another one. And snarky. Snark is defined as mythical beast in Websters. All other definitions I found are from some urban site.
Which is more about defining the culture of slang.
Snarky is defined as short tempered and irritable. That made me laugh. And question whether a person suffering from these symptoms should be allowed around children and animals.
That is how I perceive this based on the definition.
Another definition is to stun and amuse. As in, making snarky reference to the pink elephant in the room.
Hmmmm...That sounds familiar.
To be very honest it just all seems a desperate bid for attention while seeking some sort of power to me.
Look everyone is using words I made up.

It strikes me that what is funny in a child is NOT funny in an adult. Like when the sweet little cherub says, "shit".
That is stunning and amusing. And after trying to muffle laughter, because we sure don't want to encourage them to continue to use that word. The search for where they learned it from begins.

Sometimes, swear words happen. And sometimes, are funny in that they stun and amuse. I am more okay with hearing a story where someone was working with a rank mare that almost took them out, and they said, "You F$%^ing whore do that again and I will put you on your knees".
Now, translate that to how some men talk to women and ask yourself how you feel about it.

Knuckle dragging Neanderthal. I really hope that combined with, "shit", and few other words, this does not head where it very easily could.
Even if, it is just a thought.

Part of using the language to successfully communicate involves using language that is least likely to be misunderstood and misinterpreted by those who you are communicating to and with.
The deliberate use of amibiguous language can be interpreted many ways with regard to intent.

I feel compelled to point out that dog fighting and horse ownership came to many other ethnically diverse groups by way of another ethnically diverse group.
No real ambiguity in that statement. Pretty clear.

People who abuse and neglect are not healthy to begin with. Reality. When they choose as, or make, animals their victims, it is because the animal can't tell and they OWN it plays a huge part in this. This is a deliberate choice I am referencing.
Wow, we have come a long way haven't we? Society found this a perfectly acceptable means for longer than I care to think.
Legalized slavery required how many years to end? Thousands... And how much suffering and death? Incalculable...

I find myself really only wanting to say, to so many, save yourselves first. Followed by, the urban reference dictionary could be used to describe a language in the making.
I think it should be called bigotry.

Say that slow, with a deep southern accent, and it comes out something like Beeiig OOO taree. Kind of sounds like a child becoming familiar with speech doesn't it. I am not casting aspirations or slurs upon the South or the people of. There have been many willing to fight for the preservation of wrong. It is simply a historical reference for Americans.
As we are all so evolved and all.

Ambiguous? Maybe. Unclear? I don't think so.

How come Simon never says, "Be kind to others"? Or, so many other things that might have the power to engage a repetitious conditioned response to becoming something other than a puppet.
The strings may not be visible. But they are there all the same.

If anyone is still confused? The made up words always show red when you use spellcheck.

I always think of the movie "Mean Girls". And, it is so "Fetch".

In The Evolution of Kindness What Comes First?

A desire to have some is my guess. And then, hopefully and possibly, a desire to share some.
I think kindness comes before understanding. Sometimes, I think understanding should come last.
Or, no one may want to play. Or, they may quit too early. Because they may come to believe their understanding indicates no desire for change in others.
And then, they may want to make a new law. Supposedly, to bring change.
HA!
To punish those that have disappointed them by not changing quickly enough more like.

One thing life has taught me. Is one persons understanding may be anothers confusion.
I think most people are like mules. More than, they are like thoroughbreds. Mules have to know why. Before they agree to do something. A lot of thoroughbreds you can turn in any given direction and let them fly.
Thoroughbreds are all about the forward. Faaaaaassssssst...
Mules are about caution. And self-preservation. Mules are generally not perceived as having heart. Often presumed to be stubborn, contrary, and obstinate.
And sometimes, when they have received no real GOOD reasoning to move forward, they can become all of these things.

I am not trying to plow my garden, and work my soil, with a thoroughbred. Why should I? I have a mule.
The thoroughbred is for my recreation. And to look good when I go to town. And to get there quicker.
Maybe, you could call the thoroughbred a messengers horse. To get the message to town quick. Better be a well riding messenger though. Otherwise, the thoroughbred may arrive without the messenger. In town.
And cause everyone to wonder what the message really is.

I knew I had a plan for this picture. A horsemans version of the what came first the chicken or the egg riddle.
The horse came first. The mule came second. And the thoroughbred came third.
Win, place, and show.
How were you betting the finish? Or, should I say, the start?
And before anyone can even bother to ask. I am a mule. With a proud descendency of thoroughbred ancestry.

Have You Ever Noticed?..

That when things go bad no matter how hard you try to muddle through it just gets worse?
Like an avalanche, mudslide, tsunami, maybe, it even comes on like a hurricane?
Or, at least, it feels that way.
And we have all been conditioned to never say, "It can't get any worse". And to try to refrain from questioning, "What next"?

Like when, the truck needs an expensive repair, the car has bad brakes and needs new tires, and you hit something you shouldn't with the lawn mower and that gives up the ghost too?
Who would dare to say, "What next"?
And you find an inexpensive repair place. YAY!!! And then, see the utility bill that was due from last week. That you forgot about when the truck broke down.

And then, when you are gazing out the window trying to recenter yourself while taking a very deep breath, you notice that the horses are out.
And as, you go to address that, it begins to rain.
And then, you remember you still have to get the hay put away that was delivered yesterday.

Funny how all that can work. Or, not.

Sometimes, it all seems a bit much doesn't it? I am sure we could all add our own twist to the examples I have given here.
And it could seem and feel so much worse.
Our own problems always are. The worst.
Because they are "our" problems.
And sometimes, those problems, either, are not, or do not seem, resolvable. At least, at that moment.

And sometimes, someone shows up and says, "Hey, let me give you a hand". Wow!!!
Way cool.
Almost makes up for having been found sitting in the dirt, bawling, and snot running.
That can feel a little embarassing.
Especially when, the problem wasn't that big. With some help to solve it.

We know someone, besides ourselves*laughing*, who is having most of the problems I mentioned.
And while, it may be overwhelming for one.
It is not so much so for 2-3-4-5-6.

Call it a new way to sweep in front of anothers doorstep. And I am not thinking about all of my own work today.
I took yesterday off to get some of that done.
And there is that log in my eye that keeps from realizing that I should only care about me and mine.*really laughing*

When things seemed at their worst, someone said to me,"Are things really that bad? Because we have a saying around here about you".
In between sniffles and sniffs, I said, "Oh yeah, what's that"?(real pitiful like)
She said, "We always joke that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, The Devil says, Oh shit! She's awake".
That has proven a mighty powerful tool for a tenacious person with a sometimes stubborn and perverse streak.
A mighty powerful tool indeed...

Have A Great Day Everyone... And try not to forget that we all need a helping hand from time to time.
Yep, we all surely do. Sometimes, most especially, when we, ourselves, have caused the problem to begin with.
Think, help I have fallen and I can't get up. Who knew, there was so much quicksand in the world today?

A New Kind of War...

I am done fighting. Done fighting evil. Done speaking it's language. Done immersing myself in it's stench.

There were reasons I engaged. There are always reasons. For everything. The reasons only become excuses when you have failed.
And that is when you hear, "but I did the best I could".

I don't believe I failed in the work that was brought to me. Neither, do I believe I always did the best that I could in that work.

When I engaged in word battles and was unkind. Either, because it was easier. Or, in a rather twisted way felt good.
That is where I failed myself, others, and all that I believe in.
I have dwelled on that long enough to know, that I need to forgive myself. And ask others to do the same.

I am growing again. And I cannot grow well, straight, true, and strong, without the proper nourishment.
Nothing really can.
I do not desire to be a solitary rose growing atop a dung heap.
I wish, hope, and pray, to be in a garden.
With many other growing faces pointing towards the Sun.

Who I was then, is not who I am now. And who I am today, is not who I will be tomorrow.
God willing...

That is also true about the truth. It evolves and progresses. It doesn't stand still.
Neither does time.

The words have always been there. It just takes time to learn the lessons and meanings of them.
It is a living truth.
I cannot do or be anything alone. Thank God, I have never truly been alone.

Evil is as evil does. We have all opened a window or a door to evil at some point or another in our lives.
Poor choices and mistakes.
What we choose to do with those learning opportunites plays a very great part in whether we become a puppet or a tool.

I refuse to become a puppet. And I think I may need to be brought to the stone and ground a little that I may become sharper.
And I need to be oiled. That I may shed my coat of rust.
I would prefer to be a hoe. Rather than, a sword of any type.
Breaking ground to grow and tend. Rather than warring and bloodletting.

I have chosen and reaffirmed my choice in this. Loss disturbs me. Judging disturbs me.
A true gardener never retires. It is passion and joy. A warrior may choose to retire and become a full time gardener.
Welcome to my retirement.
And please bear with me if I pick up the wrong tool from time to time.
I'll get better with time and practice.

I wish The Lord's healing and love for all. I pray for the day that we may all be in the same garden with our faces towards the Son.
Instead of, pain, shame and so many other things, evil things, that keep us hiding in the dark.

I am done fighting evil. Because I have simply chosen to succeed it. Crazy how that works.
And simple.
Just like blowing sunshine up someones, well...you know. If, their mind is truly that closed, it has nowhere to escape except out of their mouth.
And at least that way the seeds continue to spread.
Humor can also be a beautiful thing. Besides being necessary.

Have A Wonderful Day Everyone... I intend to.
I should have titled this, "This is what Jesus did for me Today"...

Back To Bitching About Internet Anonymity...

It is nice to see that some posters are not okay with some of the bashing that takes place on the internet.
The misinterpretations still exist. But mostly things seem to have settled down and become a bit more rational.

As for the hidden identities and claims of others that they just know a certain SN is really the same individual who regularly posts under another SN?
Does anyone else get what a waste of time those accusations are?
I mean really, how will you ever prove that?

One thing I have always wondered about is, a shitty, hurtful, and/or otherwise controversial, new SN appears.
And then, a poster under a SN known to most everyone offers their opinion that the new SN is so and so.
I have noticed something of a trend in the relatively new SNs on some message boards.

1. who said that
2. for the record
3. enough already
4. uenduphere

Do I think I know who they are? Sometimes. I have dared to presume on occasion that number 1 is actually the blog writer on one message board.
The truth is, I do not and have no way of knowing if this is true.

Speaking from my own experience multiple SNs are either meant as a new anonymity to express opinions or information without drawing immediate fire. To deceive that one may create drama.
That a known SN may express nastiness that they do not want attached to their primary SN or them.
Or, because someone came up with a new to them SN that they want to try out.
Kind of like a Mathilda wanting to maybe be a Britney.

I don't do it anymore. But everyone will just have to take my word for that. Or not.
But as, I actually do post under my real and legal name, I really take offense to the attacks launched on my credibility by another.
As, I actually do spend thousands of dollars and countless hours doing what that other individual "talks" about.

So, here is all I am going to say in response to that. Pick it up with someone else.
You have not the standing with me. Or, anyone who actually "knows" me.
And you are not empowered to speak for me.
Apologizing for me implies an association that is not in place.

Thank you very much. Moving on now...