Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Now They Lay You Down To Sleep. I Pray The Lord Your Souls To Keep...

I have struggled with accepting the inevitable deaths of so many of the 3 Strikes Mustangs and Burros.
Supposedly protected animals.
Animals that were the recipients of many stated and implied promises. That their times of trouble were over.
And that they were safe.

Regardless of, who did what, that has proven so very untrue...

The Promises have been broken. All of them.
And the animals will pay the ultimate price.
Isn't that the way of it?

The Rule of Man... I take what I want. I disregard the needs of others. And I call it "Progress".
Or necessary.

I imagine these wonderful wild and free spirits exactly that way. Wild and free... With their manes and tails streaming.
At peace in a grove. Satisfying their thirst at a stream. Giving birth under vast and starry skies.
And I wonder how they ever became considered vermin. To be removed and eradicated.

And I tell myself, if there truly is such a thing as, a jealous GOD, a vengeful GOD, I hope he tracks everyone who played a part in the vandalism and destruction of His Living Art.
And visits many a plague upon you.

It started with the land and ways of life of native peoples. And moved on to the buffalo. And there have been many examples since, of mans progress.
And now the wild horses must go.
Because, even though they came to be through a force larger than, the work of any mans hand, man has decreed that they no longer fit.

Let me think on this. The Spaniards came and left. Leaving horses behind. The white man came. And imported through similar disregard for life and freedom, the Black man, woman, and child.
And the Chinese. To serve them. The Irish came due to famine. And then, there was Ellis Island designated for the use of emigres of all nations.

This land belonged to that which was free and wild. The white man determined to tame it. And has historically, without fail, proceeded to kill off, or fence in, whatever did not appeal to them.

I usually do not think in terms of colour. But sometimes, it is necessary. To comprehensively understand the issue at hand.

It seems to me, in reviewing the history, the only thing the white man forgot to pack before immigrating was respect.

I am grateful to my ancestors. For instilling in me to be no mans slave. And sharing an ingrained respect for the land and all of its many gifts.
And the knowledge to not take more than what is necessary to sustain life.

And I weep. Over this latest proof that man has learned nothing from his and her own history.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

True or False???

There is much I do not know. TRUE
There is much I have not seen. TRUE

There is much I have seen that I wish I had not. TRUE
There is much that I have heard that I wish I had not. TRUE

There is no possibility that I can be wrong about anything. FALSE
I generally admit when I am wrong. TRUE

There are many people that I have met who have convinced me there are many worthwhile human beings.
There are even more who cause me to reconsider that opinion on a daily basis.

Wasting my time with adults who act as children while addressing very important issues?
And maintaining a peaceable and respectful of their opinions attitude and demeanor?
So far beyond my reach that I have stopped reaching.

I am actually stunned by what I have seen with this whole 3 Strikes drama/saga. I am stunned that so many are so blatantly hypocritical that they now require compensation for doing the right thing.
And expecting of adulation and praise as well.

If this is any indication of where equine rescue is headed I want out. Of any organized group.
I am blown by the complete disregard for any type of ethical and consistent standard.

Someone described their general impression of most of the FHoTD posters as being like the cool girls smoking their cigarettes in the bathroom at school. Sucking those cigarettes til the cherry was an inch long and glowing red. Chewing and snapping their gum. All while, trying to look cool and tough. When they were scared shitless that they were going to get caught.
How apropo... Sucking, chewing, and snapping. And scared of being caught.

I have little patience with posers and imposters. Even less tolerance for. If, this is to be my peer group in rescue, I am disassociating myself from any relation to.

So many of these people think they are changing the world. No. Not really. They are just creating more smoke for everyone else to navigate through. And when it clears?
There is usually a tremendously large pile of shit and dead bodies on the other side. That they were hoping to hide.

I have said my piece on this issue repeatedly. I have horses to train and other employment to attend to.
I am through trying to share information with the ineducable.
They already know everything they are interested in knowing. And as they have made careers out of blowing smoke up the asses and in the eyes of the masses?
Who am I to stand in the way of their progress?

Hopefully and occasionally, a hurdle to the progression of ignorance that cannot be stepped around, on, or over...



Sunday, April 26, 2009

Someone Needs A Nap Or A Time Out!

Okay, if it is my World, why are there so many sources of irritation to me in it? I am not one of those individuals that believes there must be equal parts of evil and good to create balance.
Why can't we as a group, ever get it RIGHT?
And why must so many use vulnerable living creatures as pawns and podiums?

Send money or they will die. I am so sick of rescues and sanctuaries with starving and suffering pictures on the main page of their websites.
I am so sick of people who can't ride well despite having devoted years to the pursuit telling other people that they can't ride.

I am tired of opinions presented as fact. I am beyond tired of the celebrity feature in rescue.
I am tired of people fighting just to fight.
I am sick from the exposure to stupid.

I am really fucking sick of hearing about straight shoulders and polo ponies. How many anatomical features comprise an equine?
Can we pick a new one Alex please?

I am sick of amateur opinions presented as qualified fact. And snark has what to do with education, rescue, or equines?
I knew what a Tom Thumb bit was before someone presented a backwards curb and renamed it.
Did I mention, I am sick of stupid?

I pulled the cookies out of my Horse Traffic site a few weeks ago. Why? Because it has been done.
The numbers are important. But I would rather be underestimated.
Tracking is subjective to interpretation.
For instance, less than 650 readers are responsible for approximately 513,000 page impressions for someone else.
Someone else has slipped back in their rating by several thousand positions.
At this point, the blogs I created have in excess of 13,000 unique page impressions each month.
Translation, 13,000 unique readers.
Crazy.

Someone else was a topic at the most recent Horse Expo. It was like a come out meeting for those that were embarassed to admit they read.

I am not even comparing myself to the someone else. What would be the point? I already know I am smarter. I already know I ride better. I already know that my first concern in rescue is the equines.
I have no interest in bright lights and fame. In fact, I eschew it.

So maybe, just maybe, the point is being made. From day one I have tried to convey the novel concept of thinking for yourself. Don't just accept someone elses facts as your own.
RESEARCH...

I like animals. A lot... I do not own a parrot. I have no desire to. I have no want of hearing my own words and thoughts screeched back at me at decibel 10.

And for you snark lovers? I will lower myself to appease as it is probably the only thing you will take away from this.
If your fearless leader were in charge of training the last horse on the face of the Earth? There would still be nothing left to ride. Or should I say nothing left worth riding?

I think a nap. And a time out. In that order.
Self-discipline is a beautiful thing...

Friday, April 24, 2009

Awwww...Did I Get Banned Agaaaaiiiiinnn?

Whatever. That is so like not even pertinent. What is pertinent is, the We Are The World attitude displayed by the good energy folks of ABR.
Look everybody our mess is almost all cleaned up.
NOT even close...

Where are the horses going? Who is paying? What is the plan?
And Rayu. Yes, we must make folklore of his story.

There was an ad. Financially challenged girl wanted to save "Palomino" Mustang. Wonder what would have happened if he had been born brown?
So a bunch of intelligence challenged individuals got together to buy Rayu. And ship him to Nebraska.
Unfortunately, for Rayu, he was lost. But, Oh Look, now he is found. And he and shirtless man have an immediate connection.
What is this, "The Love Connection"?
Oh Crap. Rayu has been stolen. No Rayu is missing. No Rayu is in search of food.
It's a bird. No, it's a plane. No, it's Rayu.

And now ALL the ABR's and FOB's can sleep tight. Because they have once again SAVED THE DAY!
Or was it Rayu?
What a F%$^&*# CROCK!!!

I hope to God that someone somewhere has the presence of mind not to release this horse to these harelips again.

Natural Disaster At 3 Strikes Ranch!?! And The Act Of GOD Was What???

This transcends the ridiculous. "Veritable Pocket Ponies". And me, me, me. And more me. I mean I.
We completely f*&$#@ up our efforts during Katrina. But we iz ready now.
For this natural disaster. That was an act of man.
Sorry...
I have been waiting for the propaganda BS. And I was not disappointed.
HEY EVERYBODY THERE ARE CAMERAS AND EVERYTHING RUUUUUUUUNNNN TO NEBRASKA!!!

And HSUS that wanted to kill a bunch of puppies last time they were involved in something that was AGAIN the act of a man.
Is on the scene. No worries now...
Anyone want to bet how quickly these animals become classified as dangerous and in need of euthanasia?

I am far more impressed by the efforts of some who took time at their own expense to assist with resolution.
Than I ever will be by the efforts of a bunch of PAID volunteers of the HSUS vehicle of death, destruction, and the raising of more money.

Sorry for the rant. I have to go to work now. You know. One of the real jobs I have that pays me to support animals that I did not cause to be in need.
But before I go, I just wanted to say, YAY ABR! YAY FUGS! YAY HSUS! I wish I could say, YAY HORSES!
Unfortunately, I do not think that will be an option.
____________________________________________________________________

I was reading and catching up. And placing some calls. At this stage, I am only interested in "EYEWITNESS ACCOUNTS".

Everyone is already thanking GOD. Patting themselves on the backs for a job well done. And basically missing the point. These horses and burros are currently in the frying pan set on, a at the moment, low burning fire.

The cost of care during the legal process will be HSUS' example of why "euthanasia" is a must.
HSUS also has standing if they are truly footing any portion of the costs.
Ain't that a bitch.

But don't worry everyone. They are my friends. And they make me feel important. And they pay for me to travel.
And they are really sooper dooper cool. And there is that hot guy. And I just know that everything will work out for the best.

FOR WHO?
The horses?
Sure.

Here is my thing. Ole Fugs knew damn well that the ABR was financing this guy. Based on, everything she has ever promoted, he was, and is, a Rescue Fail.
And yet, nothing was ever said. Or put in cyber print. Nope. Nothing.

Without even making an accusation I would like to know why. That's it. Just the why.

And poor Rayu. Seems like the unluckiest day of his life was coming to the attention of someone who could not afford to care for him.
And that was before he ever hit 3 Strikes.
They ought to just rename him. Unlucky Time Share? Cooperative Fund? I Got Hosed Shoot Me Now?

It boggles my mind that the very people who created this mess are now applauding themselves for talking others into cleaning it up and funding it.
Oh and a big shout out for the food for humans. Some ate. Some did not. Kind of sounds like what the horses have been dealing with too.
Go Figure.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

The Catholic Church Does Not Support Abortion Should Rescue Be Supporting Slaughter?

Here it comes. It took me, quite literally, a couple of days, to recover from my last sale exposure.
That and starting another job to feed what relies upon me.
Sorry. I digress.

Everyone wanted to jump my shit for saying, I would be voting Pro-Slaughter. It didn't matter why I said it.
It didn't matter that all I did was say, what every rescue that buys from a sale venue, or from a slaughter buyer, does.
That is right. If, as a rescue operative, you buy from a dealer or slaughter buyer, YOU are SUPPORTING slaughter.

I have been amazed from the beginning by this. And NOT in a good way.
It is the height of hypocrisy.
Does The Catholic Church in any way finance birth control, abortion, or even, The March Of Dimes?
Nope. They do not. Right or Wrong, they stand for their beliefs.
Rescue does not.
The stunning part is, they do not even seem to realise what they are supporting with all of their public awareness campaigning.
And donation dollars.
S L A U G H T E R!..

I do not mean to be rude. But, it really is so simple. So simple, I am amazed and beyond confused, how that portion got lost in translation.
How do you keep score of a ball game when both teams are playing for the same side?

I dare always to SAY the unpopular thing. I dare always to challenge most everything.
Might go a very long way towards explaining WHY I have spent so much time in the legal system.
Rescue is a vehicle. Being fueled and driven exactly where it says it intends not to go.
What would we call that? Navigational Fail?

Friday, April 17, 2009

Sarcasm...The Minds Defense Against Bullshit And Insanity!

I realise I have been a little more sarcastic than usual. I do not know how to explain it. Except, to say, I have had ENOUGH!
I am so tired of excuses. NOT NECESSARILY, explanations. Just excuses...

As people, we all make mistakes. It is not only understood, but expected. So why, can so few ever step up to the plate, and simply say, "it's on me"?
I make some sort of mistake every day. Couldn't imagine a day where I achieved perfection.
HA!

I apologize to the animals. "Sorry, I didn't see you there". To my son, "Sorry, I need to slow down and listen to what exactly you are asking me".
I apologize to vendors. I apologize to a lot of people in the course of daily business.

Sometimes, I even apologize when I am not the one who is wrong. Seems to make the person on the other end, more willing to help. Weird huh?
Not really.


The thing is, why is it that those in the public eye, have such difficulty saying, "I was wrong"?
For me, it makes that person, at least seem, more real.


So, in dealing with rescue representatives who step up to the plate, with a bag full of excuses.
All I really want to say is this.


There is a 99.2% possibilty that whatever you have in there I have seen and heard before.

There is a 100% reality that it won't in any change the outcome in any positive and lasting manner.

There is a 42% chance that I may become sarcastic in the relaying of this. Based on, how many times the purveyor of, the excuse, has tried with due diligence, to blow smoke up my ass.


On that note, I am so thrilled to have the weekend away. Surrounded by dealers. Where the possibility that anyone I talk to may tell me an untruth is about 97%.
The difference is? I expect that from them.
And they know they hit me with nonsense at their own risk.

Have A Great Weekend Everyone...

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

One Other Thing.

I spoke to a rescue recently. They had completely misrepresented the information on a couple of horses that were placed in their care.
I was more than a little, terse.

I got a PR response that was so sugar coated it made my teeth ache. And of course, it was the volunteers fault.
You know, you can say a volunteer has incorrectly placed the information. But, you really need to step up as a Director and say, "I should have checked that".

I learned that from personal experience.

My response was, "PROOF READ". And fix it, "Quick and in a Hurry". And you need to note that it was erroneously published.
Because you do not know who may have already read it.

34 year old semi-retired therapy horse with many good years left in her. WHAT? How do you know?
She was emaciated. She is not rehabbed yet. HOW DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY YEARS SHE HAS LEFT???

I had to laugh when I was asked, "How do I know"? Ummm...I was there. I was there the day she was removed by trailer to the medical facility. And yes, I was there at the medical facility.
And I was the one who recommended sharing the placements.
And I am in contact with the previous owners.

One other thing I would like to address. Not all old horses can be brought back. Which is why, you dot your medical care I(s). And you cross your T(s).
Not all old horses can be made fat and shiney again. Some you have to let go.

I am not saying that this is the case with this particular horse. But no one in the world has any business advertising any 30+ year old horse as having many good years left.
You can certainly HOPE. Just as you certainly cannot KNOW.

And no, despite effusive promises to get right on it? It has not been changed yet.

Shameless and thoughtless whoring for publicity really pisses me off. Be accountible to your public.
Be truthful.
Of course this rescue is different than every other rescue on the planet. They don't just provide food and care. Nuh Uh... They provide love and a warn blanket in the winter too.

Sorry for the rant. But I did give warning. And I like to believe that I am at least somewhat a person of my word.

Monday, April 13, 2009

So Much For Project Get Along.

I am frustrated. Extremely frustrated. Now, I am seeing some improvement, so, don't think I am about to throw the baby out with the bathwater.
Nuh Uh. I am way too tenacious for that!

I think most everyone is a little familiar with what I tried to effect between SHR and DCRR.
A desire to work together and learn from each other.
Just in case, anyone was confused.
Hell, I was in it, and I am confused.
Confused how something that held such promise could have gone so terribly wrong.

That wasn't my only go at that. Nope. There were 3 similar experiments in place. At the same time.
Not to mention, all the message board use.

For What? Trying to get people on the same page. A common goal. Because, I really hate slaughter.
Makes this tough former dealers daughter want to heave just thinking about it.
I do not believe that service animals should be classified as, livestock.
That was the first mistake in the use of the language.

So what have I been doing? Poking everyone in the arse with a sharp stick. Hoping they will prove me wrong. Or, right.
I wish we could all just get one part right. For the horses. And debate the symantics at a later date.

I am very sad to report, that all 3 efforts to encourage communication and a desire to work together between rescues, have at this time failed.
I can only state at this time, that the killing blow seemed to be, Personalities before Principles.

But, I am tenacious. Very tenacious. Think Pitbull with 2 sets of teeth. And I am a fighter.
Not a quitter.

So, here is what I have to say. I would strongly suggest, that all rescues get their game on.
Sooner rather than later.
Because guess what? If, you do not? And this ridiculous fighting continues? I am going to publish every provable fact of everything you do wrong.
And you just might be surprised what I know.

Like for instance, who has the highest unattended and untreated death rate due to colic. Not who anyone would guess. I guarantee that.

And who subsidizes the greatest number of their own personal horses with rescue funds.

And who has an even more interesting background than I do.

And who has a more interesting present.

And who has the highest injury rate of adopters of poorly placed horses.

And who has the poorest monitoring of professed contracts.

And who places incomplete rehabs who die in their new placement.

And who claims to have more horses than they actually do to gain more donations.

I have more. But I think everyone gets the point. I am not interested in destroying any rescue.
Or, taking away their donation dollars and supporters.
I am just sick and tired of the shit. Because SOME of the folks supposedly supporting the cause are playing a rather large part in destroying it.
And now, is not the time. Like there could ever be a good time for this kind of shit!

Believe the powers that be have their game faces on. Believe Industry has it's face on. Pro-Slaughter thinks it has nothing to fear.
And the people who are on the fence don't know what the hell to think with all this rescue drama.

So quit the crap Ladies! And I can say that. Because, the men laid down awhile ago. And let's save some equines shall we?
We could you know? Might even be amazing what we could all accomplish. If, we would just work together.

Sorry about the blackmail. And sorry if it offends. But, I care more about the cause itself, than, I do the sensibilities of those who truly should know better.
Oh, and get those euthanasia funds in place. Because IF you get a chance to prove this cause?
You/we are going to need them.
Immediately.
Now Play Nice Damn It!!!

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Internet Therapy. Sharing and Healing on The World Wide Web.

I am cooking. Which requires, I stay near the kitchen. And I am feeling reflective. And pondering what I have seen over the last several months here.
And contemplating, whatever, no matter how small, my role may have been. And how, it may affect the outcome.

Because, I mostly, not always, do read for comprehension.
I read between the lines.
It is most often, where I find what I am really looking for.
Which is, understanding.

What do I see? The one possible good benefit of anonymity. Not incredibly different from any type of, theoretically, anonymous self-help group.
Except here, again theoretically, you do not have to put your face on it.
I see people, exposing some of the hurt that has shaped both, them, and their opinions.

That is why, I spend my time between the lines, in a similar fashion, I presume here, to The Turd Burglar.

I had been asking a question. Of myself. And a few others. If, horses heal us, WHY are there so many maladjusted, angry, and sometimes, not very nice people, associated with them?
Horses, I mean.

I think because horses are an unusually expensive pursuit. As well as, one you can NEVER completely plan for.
And a whole lot of people want the experience. Cost be damned...
And sometimes, based on that, bad things happen.

In this instance, and for what I am referencing, I believe horses were just the catalyst of all that has followed.

I think that the angry people who attempted to piss all over my party? Were two things. Angry that I was doing something that they could not.
As well as, possibly, based on, their own experience. Terrified that I would fail. As, so many others have.
And I don't believe what I have just used as an example, fell necessarily in that order.
And I am okay with that. Even though it wasn't always couched in the friendliest of terms.

That is just a small part, of what, I have learned, reading between the lines. And I also believe, that the most rabid opposition came from two sources. People who were concerned but did not have the financial ability to help.
And some other rescue operatives who were concerned that I may cause some of the donating public to swing my way.
And that would, theoretically, leave less, for them. Perish the thought. Or, me. In this case, I believe the plan was for both.
Kill the idea and by association my ability to succeed.

Well, that didn't work.

But, I have seen so much on these internet boards. Pain seems to be leading the pack in the race for expression.
A desire to be heard and understood, a close second.
Attempts to bring and share humour, is in 3rd.
And the bringing of abuse? While leaving the gate first and holding the lead for quite some time.
Seems to have faded.
Can I exclaim, "HALLELUJAH"?...
More a deeply felt and meant exhalation. Daily.

Mental Illness can be ascribed to anything that has affected one deeply and in a lasting manner.
You think about it, it makes you feel unwell, and at this moment, you, yourself, do not have the ability, to resolve it.
No one escapes some type of diagnosis by the prescribed manner of testing today. Testing today is created in such a manner as to profile.
What is wrong with you. Do you need medication. And are you a danger to self and others.
Those are the most basic premises of testing today.

I just wanted to be clear about that... We all have some aspect of mental illness subject to definition.

And when we share the things that have affected us? Deeply and profoundly. From anonymity to anonymity?
We find that we are not, ALONE.
We never really were. We just were not as inclined to share some of these things with people we know. Translation? People who think they know us.

And do I believe it is possible to form relationships based on this? Real ones? Yes. Why? Think of every war, that has ever been fought.
All those people who would have never met otherwise. The 18 year old kid, who would probably never have been to Germany, Japan, France, Afghanistan, on his own income.
Who would have never had an opportunity to have a hands and eyes on view of the other side.
And who has had to trust, his, or her life, to people, he, or she, may have never known before boot camp.

I see these internet wars in a similar manner. Wars on ignorance. Battling to be heard and understood.
Hell, maybe even fighting to be accepted for who you are. As you are.
So, in some instances, I disabuse the idea, of anonymity being "BAD".
I see it more as a bulletproof vest and a mask. Until, you get the all clear to step into the light.
And I forgive. I forgive the attacks from anonymity.
Because, they were based in ignorance.

And there has been healing in these wars for me. Was it easy? Oh Hell Fucking NO!!!
It was NOT.
Talk about walking through fire.
I did not have anonymity. So, it was a lot like what I would think open heart surgery would be, without anesthesia.
I don't have any secrets anymore. No part of my past is private. And subject to interpretation and misrepresentation of facts, I was made to be even worse than, I am.
But, I lived.
And I learned. A very great lot. Because, I am not alone. In making any type of mistake. I am just not that special. Or, unique.

Where I have an opportunity to be special or unique? Is in the addressing of this. Funny thing is? I have no real desire to be alone in that either.
But, I also realize, that people heal at their own pace.

So, for now. I just want to be a farmer. I want to break open and work hard ground. Work the soil into something more amenable to growth. And plant some seeds. And nurture those seeds as I am able.
Without artificial enhancements.
Because, I will tell you this, a life without secrets? Can be a beautiful thing. Because, it can translate into, a person without shame.

I used to hoard my personal shame. No explanations ever offered. And whatever another thought of it? Could never come close to what I thought of it.
Shame is a tool to abuse yourself with.
And I was very into self-abuse.
I hated myself, more than, anyone else ever could.
And it made me very sick. That self-created cancer of the soul.
And I should like, to Thank Everyone, who played any part in making me see, that while, I had done some of what I had been accused. I certainly had not done all.
And I was not the person I made myself out to be in my own mind.

And The Truth Shall Set You Free!!! Free At Last! Free at Last. Thank God Almighty, I am Free At Last...

If, I could have one wish for the people reading this, and have it granted. It would be that you would receive the same gift.
To be free. Free of whatever causes you to be sick. Free of unresolved personal issues. The ones that hurt you. And cause you to act, or feel, other than, as, you are.
That would be the gift I would wish for you.

And I will wait patiently. While, you work at your own pace to get there. I will, however, share an added incentive.
The water is fine. Very fine indeed. Jump on in...

Happy Easter Everyone.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

What Happened To Safety First???

I was checking out one of the other sites. After being referred to it by an email from a concerned party.
So, you have a bunch of horses. And you invite a class of school kids out to see them. And you allow them to go into paddocks and pens with multiple horses and no halters to groom.
Brilliant...
I am sure it made a nice photo opportunity. And we all know how important THAT is to some.
But seriously, what in the blazes were you thinking?
No helmets. Kids with loose horses. And someone with a camera.
I do not care if the horses in question were old enough to have pulled a cart across the desert with Moses in it.
Really not cool!
I am so tired of the complete disregard for safety. There is a reason why most barns that have horses post an "Inherent Risk" sign disclaiming liabilty for injuries.
Animals have minds of their own. Things CAN and often DO happen.
In this case, not having a mishap, was more due to luck than, any type of precautionary method.
This place states on their site that they are still learning as they go.
I hope they learn not to take chances with other peoples children in the very near future!!!

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Considering The Source...

Why would a person even credit the words of a uncredible source? Now, there is a thought...
Especially, when the news is, as old as, Stale Bread.
Filled with inconsistencies.
And slathered with a made it up as you went kind of spread.

I have said it before. And I will say it again. You want change? Paying lip service isn't going to effect it.
Providing an insider, in the know, gushy gossipiness type of story, accomplishes exactly what?

Timely real world Facts.
I care about those.
I am interested in those...

I find nothing but cheap entertainment in the reading of some other presenters thoroughly well expressed lack of knowledge on their subject material of choice.
Wow... Did that sound incredibly self-impressed and elitist?
Cool...

It serves no purpose for me to linger over the words of those whose intent is to deceive. If only themselves. Their lack of credibility has already been established.
Repeatedly...

So, in considering the source(s)? I have rejected the concept of learning anything of value from them.
I have no desire to become deliberately confused on a myriad of subjects and levels.
By reading with any real consideration the words of anyone I already know to be a truth challenged and morally bankrupt sycophant of The B List.
And as, I am of a non-discriminatory inclination, I am referring to author and poster alike.

It is a frightening thought to me. That there are those who cannot retain the information presented long enough to post about it with anything remotely resembling accuracy.
I should be thrilled.
As I have over a short course been assigned at least 3 new identities. I can only assume because all 3 parties have a first name beginning with the letter D.

These are not rebels without a cause. These are rebels without a clue...

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

The World Is Not My Oyster. It Is A Chocolate Cupcake...

I am exhausted. Truly there are days that one wonders what is the point? I read where my other blog when googled now comes up before Martin Luther King Jr.
And that is so whack!
As the new generation says.

It did not give me a sense of self-importance to read that. It made me feel very sad.
I could live to be, Oh Forever. And Ever Again.
And nothing I have said. Wrote. Or done. Will ever. Carry. The significant. Magnitude.
Of that...

What does that say about us? As people. Or google? That trash talk. With a hidden meaning. Holds a greater appeal?
Than the single. Most important thing.
Equality...
In humanity...

Arrived at. By one. If not. THE. Single most dignified act.
Of rebellion.
And Resistance.

Against. And to. Intolerance.

Where have they all gone? Those quiet. And dignified. Protesters. With their beautiful. And intact. Sense of self.
Those supposedly unworthy of consideration individuals.
Who when they quietly said, "No, I will not".
The Earth shook...

No the world is not my oyster. To crack. And to eat. I am too small. And undignified.
But this chocolate cupcake. With white frosting. And yellow sprinkles.
And periwinkle ones too.
This I will eat.

Comfort food? Maybe.
Maybe it is a celebration cake. All things in moderation type of thing.
Because too much of any one thing?
Will eventually.
Make you.
Sick...

Who was it who wrote the words? "No. No I will not. Go quietly. Quietly In to The Good Night"!
I won't you know. It isn't my nature.

But for now? I am just going to eat this cupcake. Because it is mine. The rest of you?
Well you will probably just have to get your own.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Let's Get Over Ourselves Shall We!?!

It is my experience that everyone has their own preconceived notions and ideas. And issues...

Poor Turd Burglar. You have been overworked lately haven't you.

Well, I apologize for my part in this.



I would like to say, before any one' ego over inflates. MyHorseWearsPrada made a simple point in her posting that got my attention.
In that it was time.

It was very clear. Because it wasn't muddied up with scream type or insult.



So, I pulled the private card. And put most everything in Draft.



Because the point is. The rage isn't who I am. It was more a costume donned to prove the point. The only good thing about the anonymity factor? Is when you slip up and go to the crazy place? Or the angry and profane or abusive place? You think it doesn't follow you in real life. Because nobody knows who you are. But it does.

Because it becomes a part of you.

And at the very least, a part of how you process internally.

It has a very real power to affect your outlook on life.



It saddens me how many will attack under the guise of anonymity. Because I recognize that for what it is. You.

All of you who post such ugly and hurtful things about people you don't even know.

And then, when you try to up your credibility in the world of anonymity, and theoretically, try to establish abuse as deserved, to comfort all the other people who may be recognizing their own slip and re-engage them, CLAIM to KNOW the individual that is the subject IN REAL LIFE?

Well YOU frighten ME!

And there are those of you who do that.

Just as I stated about the whole expert opinions expressed on the SHR photo shopping thing.

IT IS NOT POSSIBLE TO ESTABLISH THAT KIND OF EXPERTISE WHILE REMAINING ANONYMOUS... And no, that isn't meant as screaming at anyone. People have a tendency to look at the big stuff. It grabs the eye if you will.



This blog has simply been an exercise. A study if you will. To prove or disprove my theory about people.

And the internet.

And people+internet+anonymity.

And what that equation can create.



And you know what? Some people don't change no matter where they present themselves. Good and bad.

There are a few that I would even like to know in real life.

And there are some? That I only want to know who they are that I may see them coming.

And avoid them.



I would like to point one other thing out. To the attention needy posters. Another equation.

I am something of a freak for numbers.

50,000 readers+10-30 posters does not necessarily mean it is about your contribution as a poster.

Because the numbers used to be much higher.



Another factor of anonymity is the reader. How many people advertise that they like and/or are addicted to pornographic content? How many politicians have we seen advertise that they like little boys, prostitutes, and/or drugs? How many have we later learned these things about after they are in office? The Catholic Church has some of these same problems. Unfortunately, most every walk of life does. Deviancy does not discriminate based on social or income level.

Which is why, I have always referred to some of the blogs as the guilty little secret of some.



It is my personal theory, that readers may choose to enjoy watching other anonymous individuals spiral out of control.

Why? Because in the land of anonymity it isn't necessary to be a responsible citizen.



As so many have pointed out, for varying reasons, there is no real enforcement of the rules on some of the message boards.

Which, has led some to interpret, that there are no rules period.



It is like reading the Enquirer with dirty words. Or that one that always advertises the most ludicrous things. Aliens, half-human half-wolf 100 year old woman gives birth to twins.



Interesting read? I hope so. Notice the absence of anything? My husband says, I am a profiler.
I like to know what is going on in the world I and my family live in. To do that I have to do much research.
I won't lie. Unresearched opinions? Mean nothing to me other than what percentage of the people living in the world have them. Because it represents another number for me.
The number of truly ignorant people in the world.
And what part ignorance plays in so much of what is wrong with the world today.

If you think you know me? And you haven't sat at my table for a meal ever? I guarantee that you do not know me well enough for me to ever stop surprising you.


Sunday, April 5, 2009

Saint or Sinner? Perfect??? NEVER!!!

I will be the first to admit, that I qualify as, a sinner. I am also, human. As, a human, when, I set a goal for myself, sometimes, I fail. I know the Devil must do a dance everytime this happens.
Bingo, we have a repeat offender. SINNER!!! DING!!! DING!!! DING!!!

Does that make me a hypocrite?
Maybe...

I always liked that song by Meredith Brooks, "Bitch". It just said it all for me. As, a woman, I really got it.

There are none of us perfect. But, I really make an effort to never make a victim. Making a victim involves abusing an innocent party.

So, is it hypocrisy? To not act, or speak, as you have said, you intend to. Or, is it human imperfection?
Is it hypocrisy, to post kindly, and supportively, under a screen name? All while, slicing and dicing under the anonymous option?
Is it hypocrisy, to say, that you have not done something, that you, very provably have?

What I am really wondering is this. Why is it, that what happens under any guise of anonymity, on the internet, even matters?
Because unfortunately, there is a deception factor. That one is really interesting. I am going to cause some paranoia for someone today. Because if, I say/post anything, someone somewhere will believe it.
I am going to control something. Hmmmm...
Why?
Is your life so meaningless? Why do some delight, in the thought, that they are causing someone unknown to them, any type of discomfort or pain?

One life lesson that has proven invaluable in my recovery, as a human being and as an addict, is as follows.
What may be true today, may not prove true tomorrow. Your friend today may become your enemy tomorrow.
I used to have a hard time with that last one. But then, I learned that people do not grow at the same pace. And that made it more okay. Not quite, so personal. And there are the friends you have for a lifetime. So, it all evens out.

I know why I do what I do. Just as, I know that I am sometimes wrong. But, I do not make victims.
So, with specific regard to, the rather small group I am referring to. Why do you? Do that nasty little thing you do?

One other actually important thing. Out of respect to the other blog authors and posters. It would seem that if you have a bitch about something here? You should post it here.
Fugly Wench of the Day isn't titled "No Up Your's". That is not your place to bitch about me. Because guess what? It isn't about me.
I can't go to an open forum that I enjoy and post anything without some brainiac having to swing it to me.
It isn't possible for me to make someone elses blog about me.
There are some I won't even be returning to because of all the attention whore crap.
Because I am not very good at ignoring shit thrown my way. Another one of my many failings. Because I am soooo perfect you know...

Friday, April 3, 2009

Thank GOD!!! IT"S THE WEEKEND!!!

I am going riding. Finally... I have nothing I WANT to be angry or bitchy about... I'mmmm gooooooing riiiiiiiiiddddiiinng.
WHOOOOOT!!!
WHOOOOOT!!!
YIPPY CAYIYAH!!!
I am so excited. Several opportunities to eat dirt, be thrown into the dirt, wish you had landed in the dirt, and in general, wear a lot of?
Yep, you guessed it, "DIRT"...

Winter has been far too long... I am looking forward to walking funny, sitting soft, and all the aches and pains.
I really hope that everyone will take a look at the other blog. Because that is where I put all the good stuff.

And I will see you all later. Because IIIIIIII AAAMMMMMM GOOOOOOOOIIIINNNNG RRRRRIIIIIIIIIDDDDDIIIIINNNNNG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Have an awesome weekend everyone...